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SEE ALSO: He Said-She Said: Involvement with Married People This isn’t an easy process, it will take time and there is no perfect “formula,” but it all begins with releasing any negative feelings you have toward your former partner, forgiving them for whatever wrong they may have done, asking the Lord to heal you of your hurt and pain and holding onto hope, faith and love.When the next opportunity comes around, and there will be more, you will be better equipped to handle whatever that situation holds. SHE SAID: Maybe it’s because I came of age in the ‘80s, but Def Leppard’s “Bringin’ on the Heartbreak” kept ringing in my ears the first time I read through your question. SEE ALSO: He Said-She Said: Stop Thinking About Finding a Mate Moving on …We shouldn’t be acting or reacting like those , of which love is the greatest.This doesn’t just apply to those getting married, but is also wise counsel in every situation (even heartbreaking ones), for those desiring to be married.However, your journey can and will lead to peace We may “think” we are hurting someone by having ill feelings toward them.In reality, we are only hurting ourselves by delaying our grieving, healing, forgiving and growing process.When our feelings are not reciprocated in the way we hope or want, we are heartbroken and need to take a period to heal, in our own time and in our own way.

Add in two people who are believers and share a strong spiritual connection, and that can give it an even deeper dimension (1 John 1:7). But you can still be kind and loving and affirming from a healthy distance (even if you work together or go to church together). We are instructed to pray for our enemies (Matthew ).

He Said-She Said is a monthly advice column featuring a question from a reader with responses from a male and female point of view.

If you've got a question about anything related to singleness or living the single life, please submit it to He Said-She Said (selected questions will be posted anonymously).: My question is to help anyone, born again and followers of Christ, who are in a similar situation as this. How do you get over the other person when there is a disadvantage that you see that person every so often (such as church or work), and you cannot escape?

So when there is a break in this type of relationship, there is always some pain associated with the tearing away of what was once bonded so closely. But I think the key is what you do with that pain in dealing with heartbreak. Now you may not view this person as an enemy, but you’re certainly not bosom buddies any longer and there is definitely a wall between you now, right?

Do you allow it to cause you to act out and treat the other person unkindly or view him or her with utter disdain? Or do you stuff it away and deny that there is anything hurtful that happens to you emotionally any time you are around this person? It’s a new boundary that has been erected between you as a result of the break-up, and it is emotional protection for the both of you.

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But I would see him in passing from time to time and would hear of what new girls he was dating and what not.

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